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Writer's pictureAishwarya Jayal

You Need Me.

Need me.


Every day

every moment

of every hour,

need me.


But

Don't tell me that you do.


Don't speak of it in

the incessant babble of

a frantic toddler

that craves for an all-consuming love.


But

don't you forget

to need me.


And then,

when we speak,

tell me

that you need me.


But

don't tell me directly,

for that would be akin to

lassoing a rope tight around my neck,

clinging on and

asphyxiating me.


No,

No.


Tell me it indirectly.


Oh, how they taught you to

when you were young,

you see?

Present me with all your anguish

in ways that only I can

understand and miraculously resolve.


Oh, no,

I don't care about your solutions.

Or the problems,

or you.


But I care enough,

to know that you care

enough to ask me

so that

you can know that I

care enough to listen

and

am worthy enough to absolve you.


Talk about your life

but leave out the gory details.

Too much detail,

too much emotion,

and I will turn off

into a wall that will only shut down on you.


No,

No.


Tell me about your flaws enough,

so I am assured

that I have none so incriminating.

Tell me about your wasteful activities

so I am assured

I do better every moment.

Tell me about your worthless friends

so I am assured

I am the crowning jewel of your collection.

Tell me about your ever erring ways

so I can tut-tut

in the familiarly intimate way

and berate you lovingly

while I lay out the obvious remedy

to turn your blundering ways around.


Come on,

Be considerate!


Don't tell me

everything

that you have

managed to do.

I do not take interest

in those details where I

cannot don the mantle of

the worthy hero

that I am.


You dare boast

of your paltry achievements

when the real valor is mine

in putting up with an

ungracious nonentity!


Such boastful behavior

won't do you any good.

And I won't feel needed anymore.


And then,

I won't be able to show you

that I care for you.


So,


I won't talk to you.

I would talk about you.

I would smile politely at you

and scowl the minute you turn.


Actually,

If you don't need me,

I will probably discredit you with your

close ones

or wider,

depending on my anguish

at your erring ways,

you see?

So much so

that you will start

seeking counsel with me again.


So you see,

you need me.


Every day

every moment

of every hour,

You need me.


A man with a crow in his mouth

Image Courtesy: A crazy person's dream


How revolting was this monologue to read? By the end of it you probably wanted to punch the speaker. If you were honest however, didn't you feel like you knew the speaker? Like they were a person you probably just spoke to a few moments, minutes, days back?

But no, it's not the person you're thinking of. Not even the second or third person that comes to your mind.

It's you. A bare, naked you, who's still just the terrified infant pining for an all-consuming love.

Just think of it as the disheveled person in the mirror looking back at you at the oddest moment of truth, and you'll know who it is.


Here's to a ruminative Sunday noon, Happy Sunday!

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